I am a little late to this party, but I am joining Kelly's Korner  to talk about the joy of playing with your kids.


I believe that God designed women to nurture our families. The definition of nurture is to encourage growth and development.  Part of nurturing is playing with our children.  I have a girl and a boy, ages 7 and 4 and I will admit, I don't like sitting on the floor playing barbies or cars.  I don't like it.  My mind wanders, I'm distracted, and at almost 40 years old playing cars is not joyful to me!  But I do love spending time with my kids. That is joyful to me.  And while we might not sit on the floor playing polly pockets all day every day, we do spend lots of time together.  And I'm sure if you think about it, you do too!  We like to snuggle up and read together.  We go on outings to the library, the museum, the park, or out to lunch.  When the weather is nice, we go on walks.  My daughter is in school now, so I have to find different ways to spend time with her.  I  try  to go to all of her class parties and field trips.  I try to go to every girl scout meeting.  I try to eat a snack with her after school and ask for lots of details about her day.  It doesn't happen all the time.  No, we are not sitting on the floor playing, but we are spending time together.  I think if we are doing something that is fun for the kids and me, then they  will get more out of our time together and so will I.

On the other side, I think it is equally important to foster independent play time.  It is not realistic to think that I can play all day.  Part of nurturing is making sure my kids have healthy meals and clean clothes and a safe home.  With that comes those daily chores.  There is a quote I love from Ivy Baker Priest and I refer to it often when I'm having mommy guilt. 

"...four things a child needs: plenty of love, nourishing food, regular sleep, and lots of soap and water.  After that, what he needs most is some intelligent neglect."

Now this is not neglect in the way we normally think of it, but time for our kids to play on their own, by themselves, without relying on mom to fill the entertainment void in their lives.  Kids playing independently is a good thing!


Some thoughts:

1.  Household management is key.  Don't let your household manage you, you manage your household.  If you are not in control of your house and constantly reacting then you are in survival mode and you can't fully engage with the kids.  I know from experience!  It's good to have some systems in place to help you run an efficient household.  Meal planning, laundry and cleaning schedules, plus a weekly and flexible daily schedule can help you gain control of a chaotic home and enable you to nurture your family better.  Since this is my first post since leaving my old blog, I will be delving into these topics in depth in the near future.

2.  Strive for a good balance of together time mixed with independent time.  That way they know they will have time with you throughout the day and will not be stuck playing by themselves all day.

3.  Get rid of distractions.  Put your phone, I pad, computer, or whatever distracts you away.  Designate a time for yourself to relax and look at blogs or pinterest or facebook or whatever.  When you know you have that time for yourself, you won't be drawn to it all day.

4.  When I need some idependent time and I say "go play," my kids don't know what to do.  So I try to set up their toys to be enticing and spark their imagination.  And I do it as simply as possible.  Set up a tea party with dolls and animals.  Put out some plastic animals and a bucket of water.  Put a bin of sand and shovels and "fossils" on the back porch.  They will want to play with their toys if they see them in a new and different way.  More on this topic to come!

5.  Consider your child's temperment.  Some kids, like my daughter, want somebody, anybody, to play with at all times.  It is imperative that I teach her and encourage her to be a little more independent.  Other kids, like my son, rarely need anyone to play with.  They enjoy playing independently.  But all kids, regardless of their temperment need time spent together.

6.  Give yourself grace.  We moms are hard on ourselves because anything short of perfect is not good enough for our babies.  We want it all!  We want to play with the kids all day, keep a sparkeling home, and serve a pinterest worthy dinner at 5:30.  I think the bottom line is we are all moms that love our kids dearly and want the best for them.  If we had a bad day, we need to forgive ourselves and start over.  Tomorrow is a new day!